its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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