Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
