Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
