you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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