Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
