he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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