I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
