he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
