I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
