Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
