I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
