if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he was CRYING into my vagina
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
