he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
