is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just found puke in my bra..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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