ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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