Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
