just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
