I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
