did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
