I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i believe in u and ur pee
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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