She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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