So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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