U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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