Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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