He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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