I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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