I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
