Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
