my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
