What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
