Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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