It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
