...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
