According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
