Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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