we're blogging at a bar
Yo dont text me then not text me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
