I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
