i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
