doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
