I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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