You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
