I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
