singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
