people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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