Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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