Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
