I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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