We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
