In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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