hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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