i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
