More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
