what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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