i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
